Would you like me more if I was thin?...Diet Day 2

Actually day 2 was a complete disaster as was day 3.

It’s day 4 now and I’m coping a little better.

I am definitely one of those people who believe that if I was thinner my life would be better, I believe that people would look at me through different eyes; people would see ME not my total lack of self. That’s self control more than anything but lack of self is really what I’m feeling.

My main job now is to care for my elderly Mum. I don’t mind that so much but I’m gradually becoming more and more like her. I sit and sit and eat and eat. She doesn’t eat much but I really make up for that.

Mother can’t do much for herself now, I can do everything though as I’m still ‘young’ but am beginning to feel older as each second passes. Some days I feel as if I’m in my 80’s too. Sitting glued to the television, spreading at an accelerated rate and feeling miserable.

I am at home every day, technically I’m not retired although I can’t imagine ever being able to return to the work force. Who on earth would want to employ ME????

Must do something positive today, I’m thinking up a plan to somehow occupy myself around here so I’m available when needed but still achieving something worthwhile. Maybe I’ll even try to get into the garden and to be a little physical, do you think that will count as exercise? I will try to nick out for about ½ an hour and take the dog for a walk.